Things to do in Singapore

Clark Quay Singapore, at night

THINGS TO DO IN SINGAPORE:
Can’t think of any huh? I don’t blame you, but here’re some suggestions: -
- Go on a diet, coz food’s bloody expensive, and not really that good anyway, might as well skip over to good ol' Malaysia for a meal
- Catch a ride on the MRT, bring a book or newspaper, and you can ride across the country as many times as you want, as long as you get out from the station that you bought your ticket for (and as long as you don’t need to go pee or poo-poo and since you’re not allowed to drink or eat in there, this should pose little problem). And besides, there’re lots of nice (meaning pretty) people to look at hehehe
- Window shop, unless you want to blow a hole in your savings
- Go for a jog, coz it’s free and there’re no muggers around, and you can really do a cross-country jog if you want, literally, jog across the whole of Singapore, within a day, if you're fit & strong
- Quit smoking (coz it’s bloody expensive, and besides, where the hell are you gonna smoke? How the hell would a foreigner know which is a smoking zone and which isn’t?)

THINGS NOT TO DO IN SINGAPORE:
- Drive (coz there’re a hundred and one ways of incurring a fine, it’s no parking here, and this stupid space is reserved only for seasoned parkers, and this is a no entry zone for this type of car on this time and on this day, and so on and so forth)
- Eat (see points under above heading)
- Shop (ditto above)
- Pee, Indian style (meaning out in the open, anywhere, anytime), coz it’ll get you into hot soup, don’t believe me, go try it
- Smoke wherever you want (see above)
- Cross the road wherever you want (jay-walking is an offence)
- Cut your nails in public areas (it’s considered littering, right? Ok, community service here you go)
- Act different (Singapore really isn’t very tolerant about wise guys)
- Chew gum (coz it’s banned anyhow, …see the paranoia of it all?)

I have a love-hate relationship with Singapore. On the one hand, I have sworn to enter Singapore only if it’s absolutely necessary (mainly because of the stifling restrictions, it’s like you’re a bloody student, and the prefects are out to book you on every tiny little offence, which you don’t even know exists, and because I have a tendency to blow a lot of my hard-earned cash in Singapore, for reasons beyond my recollection!?). On the other hand, I realized that on every trip I make back to Malaysia, I’d somehow end up in Singapore.

But I have to give kudos to Singapore for their terrific airlines (especially the gorgeous stewardess hehehe and the in-flight entertainment), and for my favourite transit point, Changi Airport (in my view, Changi is Changi; Singapore is Singapore, it’s a complete different world, plus they mark their smoking zones clearly).


Clark Quay Singapore, where old and new collides